In Peter Thiel’s book Zero to One, he asks “what one important truth do most people disagree with you on?” For me, my answer was that if it is in your life, it is your responsibility. Being 100% responsible for whatever is in our life and 100% responsible for resolving it. This means that you have the ability and obligation to respond.
Fifty years ago, when I was young, my brothers and I were taught personal responsibility. We were taught to be accountable to our families, our employers, and our neighbors. We had chores around the house, we had summer jobs and we were expected to complete our homework in school. Today, the American tradition of personal responsibility under attack.
We need ideals or values even though people do not always practice them, and even though advocating them means that people will inevitably be called hypocrites when they don’t live by the ideals that they profess. It means that at least you have a value that can render you hypocritical. The only alternative is for there to be no ideals. Only then could no one be a hypocrite.
“I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast.” Viktor Frankl
Nearly all people take things for granted, we assume that since things have gone well until now, they will go well in the future. Yet, every generation has to rediscover-though not necessarily reinvent-the wheel, morally and ideologically.
America has adopted a victim culture. The man who flunks out of school & can’t keep a job blames the ignorant teachers or demanding bosses. Or, he will blame his failures on his upbringing, his environment, his resources and especially his ethnicity.
There was an email going around for a while that I think raises an interesting contradiction about personal responsibility in America. It’s an email that tells about the most ridiculous legal cases in the past few years. There was one story about a burglar who sued a family after getting locked in their garage while trying to rob their house. Supposedly he was stuck there for eight days since the family was on vacation, forced to live on dog food and warm Pepsi.
Another example told of a woman who sued a furniture store after she tripped over a misbehaving toddler and broke her ankle. The only problem was that the toddler in question was her own son. And perhaps most outrageous was the story of the man who sued Winnebago when his 32-foot RV crashed after he set the cruise control and then went into the vehicle’s kitchen to make a sandwich. It seems the manual didn’t tell him he needed to stay at the wheel.
We may laugh when we hear outrageous stories about “other people” who don’t accept responsibility for their actions. But the truth is we see evidence every day that lack of personal responsibility isn’t just urban legend – and isn’t just “other people.” The sad truth is that many, many people in our society believe they should not be held responsible for the choices they make or the consequences of those choices.
Make no mistake: the “Not Me-ism” in our society is a huge problem. “They” are always at fault. In all my years, I have never met “they” but “they” are certainly a convenient group to have around so that the fault never lies with “us” or “me.”
Over the past 50 years our government has created programs assist people, but those good intentions have created dependency. Our therapeutic culture has alleviated people from personal responsibility.
If we live properly, exercising responsibility and follow basic truths, we can navigate our own way through life. The Bible offers the 10 commandments, Marcus Aurelius found guidance in stoicism, Ben Franklin created a list of 13 virtues for living a good life. Each of these sources stress the importance of overcoming our vices and embracing the good.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to our young people is the ability to take charge of their own lives. We can teach them these lessons from an early age by reading things such as the book of virtues by William Bennett, a great series of stories that I had the privilege of sharing with my son and daughter.
“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” Abraham Lincoln
Every day is filled with opportunities to build up and strengthen our sense of duty and obligation. I often ask people how they contribute to their community, and I usually get a startled look and then a quick “well I am going to serve food to the homeless next Thanksgiving”. But it’s pretty easy really, simply be a good husband or wife, be a good parent, be a good brother or sister, son or daughter. I am confident that every community could use better husbands & wives, son’s & daughter’s, brother’s & sisters.
Our greatest responsibility comes from the golden rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. The golden rule covers every situation, it’s really that simple.
The more we teach and exercise personal responsibility, the better we make the world around us.
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