CONTROLLING THE UN-CONTROLLABLE by James PerryThe single most important practice is differentiating between what we can change and what we cannot. What we have influence over and what we do not. No amount of yelling at an airline representative will make the storm go away. No amount of wishing will make you taller or shorter. No mater how hard you try, you can’t make someone like you.

The recovery community practices the serenity prayer; “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Addicts cannot undo the choices they have made, but the can change the future when they control the choices they make in the present moment.

“FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL, LEAVE WHAT YOU CAN’T”

If we can focus on differentiating what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, we will not only be happier, we will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an unwinnable battle.

happiest

We control our reasoned choice and all acts that depend on that moral will. What’s not under our control are the body and any of its parts, our possessions, parents, siblings, children, or country – anything with which we might associate.” Epictetus, Discourse, 1.22.10

A wise person knows what’s inside their circle of control and what is outside of it. The good news is that it’s pretty easy to remember what is inside our control. Our circle of control contains just one thing; OUR MIND. This is good because it drastically reduces the amount of things that we need to think about. There is clarity in simplicity. While everyone else is running around with a list of responsibilities a mile long, most of which they are not responsible for, You have got just one thing to manage; your choices, your will, your mind.

 

Don’t try to control those things which are not in your control.

 

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